My Awesomely Drunk Oniisan
by Lucarioblaze
Summary: The last one-shot in the "Graph Stories Trilogy".


The last in my "Graph Stories Trilogy". Germancest. Love it.

Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia  
Pairings: PrussiaxGermany; Germancest  
Rating: T for alcohol and fanservice  
Warnings: Alcohol, fanservice, awesomeness

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My Awesomely Drunk Onii-san

Gilbert, after becoming an ex-nation, had now taken up a job at a local bar. It was about ten minutes away from his house in Berlin. Correction. My house. He had taken residence with me after being defeated by the Allies in 1947. Anyways, I wanted to make sure he got home safe, so I made my way over to the bar by foot to check on him. Gilbert was, more often than not, the one drinking, not serving. As I dodged traffic in the congested metropolis, I neared a crowded bar on the corner of the block. Taking a deep breath of the exquisite and top quality alcohol, I stepped into the bar. Only then did I realize the burning temperatures of July, and the coolness of sweet rum encircling me, filling up my lungs. Surveying the packed bar, I was quickly able to locate my brother chatting naturally with some pretty females. I almost fell for his façade before I studied him again. Listening attentively, I realized that Gilbert's speech was slurred, and that he hiccupped every once in a while between sentences. I marched up to them and gave a half-salute, before correcting my hand motion and waving.

"H-Hey...sorry to interrupt, but I've gotta talk to my _älterer Bruder_ for a sec." The females giggled at the use of my German, but I then hastily pulled Gilbert away from the women.

"What do you think you're doing? _Mein Gott_! You're getting yourself drunk? How do you expect to drive home-?"

"Oi, Westoo...you came _all_ the way here to check on yer big _bro_~? Ya know, big bro can take care of 'imself~" Gilbert swayed a bit, and I strained myself not to try and catch him from falling, even though he clearly still had some balance.

"Gilbo...we've gotta get home. C'mon." I tried to tug him towards the exit, but he wouldn't budge. I ran my fingers through my golden hair, trying to think of another way out.

"Luffie~ jes wait a l'il longer...I need to make money for the two of us, you know I'm the man of the house~" He hiccupped, and wandered back to the table, but thankfully the two women had left. I followed him and seated myself at a bar stool directly in front of the Prussian, staring right into his reddened eyes. He was definitely drunk.

One by one, a person or a group of people left the bar slowly, as if trying to decelerate time so every second dripped like molasses. Because that's exactly how it felt like when I impatiently remained in the tavern. At last, it was midnight, and the bar would be closing down. Gilbert had only sipped at half of another mug of beer, to my relief. The Prussian sluggishly removed his silk onyx tie and tossed it to me. I slung it around my neck, and stepped towards Gilbert.

"So, can we _leave_ now?" I prodded edgily. He yawned and then stretched, arching his back and tossing his head backwards.

"_Ja_, Ludwig." The platinum blonde finished stretching and his crimson eyes were now filled with drowsiness. "Oi, you don't need to be so negative about everything your big bro does for you." Gilbert looked at me, waiting for a response. I gave none. "Well, I earned us a lot of money tonight. Those ladies all tipped me double after seeing your adorable face. They all liked your pout." I could feel my face heating up with embarrassment. My concern for Gilbo wasn't _that_ obvious, was it?

"Well Luffie, I'll go get the car-"

"Oh no no, you're _not_ getting away with that. There's _no_ way that you have _any_ capability to drive that car."

"West, there you go again. I'll be right back~" Before I could tackle the tricky Prussian to the ground, he had already made a dash for the parking garage across the block. He came back in the car, honking twice, and I bolted outside. The convertible had the Prussian flag on it, and just to add to the 'effect' Gilbert was trying at, he had sunglasses on.

In the middle of the night.

"Gilbert, this is lächerlich! We're getting home, not going to a disco!" I barked. He then started up the engine, letting the car's roars echo throughout the streets. Right then, I wanted to roar too.

"Hop in, Luffie~ Let big bro how ya how ta drive!" Gilbert cackled afterwards, and I reluctantly jumped into the shotgun.

"East...I have a _really_ bad feeling about this..." I trailed off, but he didn't hear me over his laughter. All I could do about it was buckle the two of us in before his run began.

"Here we go~!" Gilbert sped off, the tires squealing with fear. I strained to keep my eyes between the road and him, to make sure he didn't hit a car. To make sure he didn't hit _anything_. Time seemed to speed up as Gilbert hooted in sheer hilarity, and I tried to control the wheel when he let go of it. Suddenly, he swerved left, and I dove into the front seat and hit the brakes. I hit my head against his bony chest, and we panted for a moment before I quickly turned the car in the direction of our home. Gilbert resumed his acceleration at sixty kilos an hour.

"Gilbo, _was zum Teufel machst du da_? _Die Polizei könnte uns fangen_!" I couldn't control the German that I blurted out to the drunkard, but he still didn't let up on speed. The streets were empty, but the eerie blur of lights going past us made me shiver, even in this hot summer night. About a minute later of wild driving, Gilbert came to a gradual stop, and looked around at the tall edifices surrounding the road. All at once, the street lights switched off, leaving our car running in the darkness of night.

"How do you expect to drive-"

"Just look at the deep blue sky without the street lights on..." The Prussian turned the car off, and tilted his eye upward. I only followed his instructions and stared. The shade of blue was dazzling with tiny pricks of light, and the whole canvas seemed to glimmer, a never-ending image above our heads. And despite knowing that, I wanted to reach out and grab a handful of the luminous liquid to keep for myself. But before I was able to say anything, East started the car up again.

"Luffie, we're gonna haf'ta drive home in the pitch black dark. Don't one of these buttons..." The Prussian's hand came down on a knob, and the highbeams flooded our field of vision. Gilbert stepped hard on the accelerator and we we off. Again. Gilbert's speed hovered around sixty, which was still over the city's speed limit by a lot. Gilbert began to talk to me as he sped down the lane.

"Hey Ludwig, let's see if we can get back to the house in three minutes." I looked at him with horror. We were in enough trouble tonight, why risk more? But then again...why not?

"Go, Gilbo!" I exclaimed all of a sudden, and the drunk male raced even faster. We were at least a hundred kilos per hour now, and for the first time that night, I felt relaxed, rather than uptight and stiff. The two of us laughed as the wind whipped our hair out of place. Our surroundings were gradually changing to a less dense city area, and Gilbert abruptly veered into an empty parking lot. The engine now exhausted from our night-long run, contentedly shut off, and I hopped out of the convertible. I walked a few steps, only to spin around and realize that Gilbert had dozed off right there in the silent car. I released a sigh and smirked, lifting the limber body up from the front seat. I looked down at him for a few moments, examining his subtle features. His platinum blonde hair was tousled from the ride; his crimson eyes now finally procuring a chance to rest. Yes, this was Prussia, the regal yet cunning East Germany. But more than that, he was my awesomely drunk older brother.

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On a side note...on the original graph, the increments went by tens, up to fifty. But I crossed out the increments and made them increase by _twenties_, changing the highest speed from fifty to _one hundred_. This was the only story I read aloud to the class, and they loved it. I also added that little bit about the increments, and my math teacher remarked "Yeah, we should've realized by now." XD I'm really proud of this fic, mostly because it was accomplished in one night (duh, it was a homework assignment) and because, hey, I like Germancest. :shrug:  
Please review, aru! Danke!


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